woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
