stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
