Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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