It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
