I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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