I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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