i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
