It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
