put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
