Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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