If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
