Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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