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There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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