Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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