you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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