i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
