Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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