Your tits are I can't wait for
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
