Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
