Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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