Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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