I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just had sex on a roof
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
