I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
