hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
