That's intense
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
