Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
