His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Who did Billy Mays play for?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
