Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
