I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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