she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
