I faked an abortion last night.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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