The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
