i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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