i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
