yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
