Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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