You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
