That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she looked like the before picture.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
