Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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