i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
