I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
