What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
