Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
