I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
