your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
