I need help removing her.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Randomize
