apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
