Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
