who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
