She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
