the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
