just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
