; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just want nice things and good sex
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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